How the Way Our Parents Talk About Money Shapes Our Financial Habits
Growing up, I thought paying bills and saving were things that got done behind closed doors—things my parents handled quietly. I didn’t learn how to budget or talk about money until I moved out. If that sounds familiar to you, you’re not alone. Turns out, whether our parents openly taught us about money—or held back—can have a big effect later.
The Power of Talking Money at Home
Studies show that when parents intentionally teach money lessons, it has a real impact. Children whose parents talk about topics like budgeting, savings, credit, or debt are more likely to manage money well later in life.
On the flip side, families who avoid money talk can unintentionally leave kids unprepared. Silence about money isn’t always about being secretive—it can come from the idea that adults handle money and kids shouldn’t worry about it—but it creates gaps in financial skills.
Even Good with Money Doesn’t Mean Taught About Money
Some families do great financially but still skip the discussion piece. That was true for me. My parents managed money wisely—but never shared how or why we made the decisions we did. So when I finally struck out on my own, the mechanics of saving money felt totally foreign. It wasn’t because I came from a place of financial instability—it was because an unspoken rule kept the knowledge hidden.
How Kids Pick Up Money Attitudes (With or Without Words)
Financial attitudes start early. Children as young as five already show distinct emotional reactions toward spending or saving—and these reactions can predict actual behavior. Even without explicit teaching, kids absorb the emotional messages they see and hear about money.
Still, families that do talk about money set kids up for clearer expectations. Children learn from both what you say and how you act.
Why We Should Talk (Respectfully and Thoughtfully)
Talking about money doesn’t have to feel alien or awkward. Parents can share age-appropriate insights, like saving a portion of allowance, deciding between needs vs. wants, or how budgeting works in a relatable way. Even simple, everyday conversations can become building blocks for lifelong confidence.
How to Talk About Money With Teenagers (Without the Lectures)
One of the biggest challenges parents face is figuring out how to actually talk to their kids about money—especially teenagers, who often tune out anything that sounds like a lecture. A lot of parents say, “My kids won’t listen when I tell them they need to save,” but often the real issue isn’t unwillingness—it’s style.
Teens learn best when money isn’t treated like a classroom subject but as part of everyday life. Instead of sitting them down for a serious “money talk,” weave financial lessons into real situations. For example:
Narrate your decisions out loud. If you’re planning a holiday, talk through the trade-offs: “We have $500 we could spend. We could use it on restaurant meals, or cook more at the villa and put the money toward surfing lessons. Which would you pick?” This turns abstract budgeting into a choice they can relate to.
Use their world as examples. If they’re saving for a new phone or sneakers, walk through how long it will take with their current income or allowance. Let them see the math, rather than just hearing “you should save.”
Model good habits. Teens pick up far more from what they see than what they’re told. Paying your credit card bill in full, setting limits on shopping, or openly saying “I’ll wait for this to go on sale” makes money management visible without needing a lecture.
Ask for their input. Giving teens a voice in small financial decisions—like choosing between two streaming subscriptions or weighing the cost of family outings—helps them feel included rather than preached at.
The key difference is that talking about money doesn’t always mean teaching in the formal sense. It’s about showing kids how financial decisions play out in real life and gradually letting them practice, rather than expecting them to absorb a one-off “lesson.”
The Takeaway
Our financial habits are shaped just as much by what we didn’t hear as what we did. If money was a topic off the table in your house—even in a financially stable one—you might’ve been left figuring it out later in life. That’s okay. The great news is that it's never too late to fill in those gaps—for yourself or for future generations.
If you’re looking for simple, friendly ways to start the conversation—whether you’re teaching your kids or yourself—let me know. I’d be happy to share tips that helped me unwind the mystery.
